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作家相片Hofan 可凡

你給予,我接受,親愛的爸媽



近日讀海靈格 (Bert Hellinger) 的書,當中有一章宣言幫助兒女完全躺開接受自己這一世的父母的。讀完之後很感受到當我容許自己敞開接受這個緣份,得到的支持和祝福是那麼強大。 (昨晚是月蝕,這個星期是瑪雅曆法的年尾。從能量層次來說是一個好好清洗和放下,容許新的東西來的時機。) 海靈格也非常之有趣。現今家排中有很多 「金句」,但書裏邊他講到,其實他每次也是做實驗。憑自己直覺給一個句子案主。那個句子就像一個視察的氣球 ,有時候成功,有時候要因應案主的反應來調節。大家也不妨試吓讀下以下的句子,感受下對自己的反應如何?

親愛的媽媽 我接受來自於妳的一切, 接受所有伴隨而來的結果。 以妳和我所付出的全部代價來接受它。 我會用它做一些好事來榮耀妳 妳所做的一切不會白費。 我在心中緊緊地保有它, 如果可以的話,我會把它傳遞下去--就如同妳所做的一樣。

我接受妳是我的母親, 而妳可以有我做妳的孩子 妳是我唯一的母親,我是妳的孩子。 妳是大的,我是小的。 妳給予,我接受,親愛的媽媽。 我很高興妳接受爸爸做妳的丈夫。 你們兩人對我而言都是正確的父母。

親愛的爸爸 我接受來自於你的一切, 接受所有伴隨而來的結果。 以你和我所付出的全部代價來接受它。 我會用它做一些好事來榮耀妳 你所做的一切不會白費。 我在心中緊緊地保有它, 如果可以的話,我會把它傳遞下去--就如同你所做的一樣。

我接受你是我的父親, 而你可以有我做你的孩子 你是我唯一的父親,我是你的孩子。 你是大的,我是小的。 你給予,我接受,親愛的爸爸。 我很高興你接受媽媽做你的妻子。 你們兩人對我而言都是正確的父母。 Source: "Love's Hidden Symmetry" by Bert Hellinger

--- I've been reading Bert Hellinger's book entitled "Love's Hidden Symmetry." In there are some phrases affirming the full acceptance of the two human beings who gave me life. What's interesting is that Hellinger's phrases, which have become canon, was used by him as an evolving process, as is evident by this Q&A: Q: When you give people sentences to say, you're very directive. It's almost as if you're telling people what to do. Hellinger: Yes, on the surface, I'm very directive. But the actual process is more complicated. I'm constantly watching, trying to see where people want to go and where they are stuck. When there's a systemic entanglement involved, clients can't find the liberating sentences by themselves -- that requires a knowledge of the dynamics of systems they don't usually have. If I find a sentence that might be helpful, I send it up like a test balloon and watch it carefully to see what happens. I can quickly see if I've offered a sentence that helps, or if my offer was off-target. It's it's off target, then I let the client lead me to another. It's trial and error. It's very clear to everyone when we find sentences that help. The client is directing me, and I do my best to follow faithfully.


You can try reading them to see how it makes you feel: Dear Mama/Mother,

I take everything that comes from you,

all of it, with its full consequences.

I take it at the full price it cost you

and that it cost me.

I will make of it something good in memory of you-

to thank and honor you.

What you did must not have been in vain.

I hold it close and in my heart,

and if I am permitted, I will pass it on

-- as you have done.


I take you as my mother,

and you may have me as your child (son, daughter)

You are my only mother and I am your child.

You are big, and I am little.

You give, I take, dear Mama. I'm glad you took Daddy as your husband.

You both are the right parents for me. Dear Daddy/Father,

I take everything that comes from you,

all of it, with its full consequences.

I take it at the full price it cost you

and that it cost me.

I will make of it something good in memory of you-

to thank and honor you.

What you did must not have been in vain.

I hold it close and in my heart,

and if I am permitted, I will pass it on

-- as you have done.


I take you as my father,

and you may have me as your child (son, daughter)

You are my only father and I am your child.

You are big, and I am little.

You give, I take, dear Daddy. I'm glad you took Mama as your wife.

You both are the right parents for me.

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